Fear
by Meana
Summary: Late night ruminations by Jadzia.


Disclaimer: The following characters do not belong to me. They belong to someone else. I'm just borrowing them for fun and absolutely no profit. 

This is a Star Trek: Deep Space Nine story focusing on the character of Jadzia Dax. It involves late night ruminations. 

Fear   
by Meana 

Jadzia Dax was afraid. Until now she had thought there was nothing in the universe which could fill her with such fear. But, she had been wrong. 

She lay in her bed and listened to the sounds of the man sleeping beside her. Slowly she rolled over and rose up on one elbow and stared down into his face. Gently she reached out and traced her fingers over the features of his face. She sighed, knowing what she feared but not willing to admit it to herself let alone to another person. But, thanks to the events of the night just passed, she knew she had to face her fear. 

She was in love.... and it scared the hell out of her. Oh, she wasn't afraid of being in love. The symbionts memories let her know what it was like to love and be loved in return. No, that didn't scare her. What scared her was revealing her feelings to the one she was in love with. She knew it was a silly fear. Or at least a silly fear for someone like her. Someone with the experiences of several lifetimes. Experiences which sometimes dealt with telling someone you loved them, not like a brother, or a sister, or a friend, but like the other half of your soul. 

Once again she looked at the face of the man lying beside her. She knew that her actions and his actions of that night were going to change things. For better or for worse she didn't know. She had to smile at her choice of words. Words which, at one time, were spoken during the old marriage rituals of her human friends. 

She frowned slightly as she thought. She suddenly realized that what scared her the most was losing the friendship of the man she loved. If he didn't love her in return could they go on as friends? She honestly didn't know and that uncertainty fueled her fears. 

To distract herself from her own thoughts she looked at her bed companion and tried to recall just what had led to their current circumstances. She remembered having dinner with him. A celebration meal he had called it. Of what she had never really figured out. Then they had gone to Quarks. There they had talked and drank. Not heavily, but enough so their senses were slightly blurred. Neither one was on duty the next day so they had felt free to completely relax. They didn't leave Quarks until Quark had kicked them out. 

Like a true gentleman he had walked her to her quarters. He was just starting to walk away when she'd realized she didn't want the night to end yet so she'd invited him in for a 'night cap'. A human term but it had fit the moment. He'd agreed and they had sat on her couch and talked some more. 

It still amazed her how easy it was to talk to him. How freeing. But, somehow, during their talk they had slid closer and closer to one another until their faces were mere inches apart. They had stopped talking and had sat and stared into one another's' eyes. Out of some sort of mutual agreement they had closed the distance. 

If she closed her eyes she could recall the shape and texture of his mouth. But, most vividly, she could recall the taste. Cinnamon. He had tasted like cinnamon. That had surprised her. It had been a pleasant surprise. She had loved the taste of cinnamon ever since she had first tried it ten years ago. 

From that first kiss things had progressed. The passion between them shocked and delighted her. He had known just where to touch her, just what to say to her to drive her crazy with desire. When she had reached the peak it had taken her breath and her discipline away. She had only been able to shudder with her release. 

Jadzia opened her eyes and brought her mind back to the present. She was startled when she realized her companions eyes were open and that he was staring at her just as intently as she was staring at him. He gave her a tentative smile which she returned. 

She stared at him for a few minutes longer and then came to a decision. She would tell him the truth. She would tell him how much she loved him. 

She smiled and started to speak, "Julian, I have something to tell you." 

The End 

So, what did you think? Any comments, criticisms, etc... can be sent to me at meanarose@sympatico.ca 


End file.
